Types of Parent/Child Relationships

Sunday, November 20, 2016

Today in my AP Literature English class, we did a writing workshop where were wrote about a topic in a comical way. I was pretty proud of mine, so I wanted to share it. I'll keep this short and sweet.

1.) The Best Friend

These parents are totally chill and treat you like a best friend. They trust you with money, alcohol, pointless technology and give you endless trust, love, and support... possibly too much.

2.) Avoiders

This relationship between parents and children are awkward. You don't really spend time together, and only really see each other in the morning before school/work or on the weekend going into the kitchen for food. You're not all that close, but it never seems as a major problem.

3.) The Prison Warden

The prison warden has no mercy for their kids. They are the strictest of the strict, no nonsense. They restrict TV, computer, phone, early curfew, no company at home, always obey the rules... you get the jist.

4.) Overly Attached Guardians

These parents breathe down their child's neck sometimes. They are overly involved in their child's life. They schedule parent teacher conferences with every single teacher (even the Gym teacher, yes), they can't go anywhere without you and are always trying to bond and spend time with you. Not to be confused with my mother, who literally cannot go to the supermarket without me, ever.

5.) The Hypocrites

These parents try to make changes in their family, but fail miserably. Probably from something they read in a magazine or what they saw in TV, but one thing gets them going. They call a family meeting  and say "we're gonna start eating healthier in this house" or "we're gonna be nicer to one another". Then next week, they're eating chips and candy and yelling at you to clean your room.

6.) The Noobs

These are typically new young couples with newborn babies. They post 547912 pictures and flipagrams of their baby on Facebook (yes, that exact number), and won't stop cluttering your feed with pointless updates. "I didn't know tired until I had kids!", "I know it's corny, but my child is my best friend!", "I used to like going out every Friday night, but now I'd rather spend it with my children!". They are also a bit overbearing, where they check all the food labels and use organic baby projects because they care for the utmost safety and health for their kids.

7.) The Dreamer

This is probably the saddest of the parents, they live through their kids and try to make them accomplish what they couldn't. They want them to go to their alumnus, sports and achievements. Constantly controlling and too influential on their kids.\

8.) The Clueless Ones

These parents literally don't care about anything concerning their child. The children could be screaming, yelling, knocking over everything in the store and jumping off a building, and they still wouldn't care. They're always tired, bags under their eyes, shoulders hunched, and back breaking expressions on their faces. Not to mention their child is the devil.

9.) Community Embarrassment

The parents who come to all the PTA meetings, book fairs and sports events and are overly involved in the community. They know all your teachers, coaches and friends and use this to embarrass you. 95% of the time they are going wherever you are because they were invited to. Not to be confused with the Overly Attached Guardians.

Thanks for reading! I hope you found this at least remotely entertaining.

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