I Think I'm Having a Mid-Teenage Crisis

Is this even a real thing? I guess it is now.

As of now, 6 months after I've turned 16, I, Rachel, am having a mid-teenage crisis. 

You may think this is some sort of trivial, teen meltdown, but I assure you I really am having a revelation of sorts. Google defines a midlife crisis as "an emotional crisis of identity and self-confidence that can occur in early middle age". And I'm totally resonating with this now, except in an 'I'm a little scared for my future' and 'how the hell do I deal with all these changes'. Let me walk you through this.

This all really came crashing down on me when one of my favorite cartoon show ended in January (Regular Show) and I obviously was pretty broken up about it. That show, as I said, has been a part of my childhood for seven years and when it ended I was devastated. And then after that, it got me thinking- my childhood and youth are escaping me day by day.

For instance, Adventure Time is on it's way to their last season, and I've been watching them just as long as I have been Regular Show! Cartoons aren't the only thing. Some of my favorite game franchises have ended as well, including the Walking Dead Game and Uncharted, which were the biggest titles released for 2016, at least for me. 

There is also all those online games I used to play as a kid. Both Pixie Hollow and Bearville from Build-A-Bear workshop closed down (so did Club Penguin but I didn't really play that much, now I'm grateful). And they did it without me knowing. One afternoon with a random stroke of curiosity and found that they had shut down months before I checked up on them, how is that fair? I felt dejected and depressed, I spent hours on those sites and they couldn't even give me a fair warning?

Not to mention all the reinstallations of all my childhood shows. The Fairly Odd Parents and Spongebob have been exploited for their old school popularity to cater to their networks money hungry ambitions. It's a shame since those were some of my favorite cartoons when I was younger. There was also the Zoey101 reunion episode where Chase learned what Zoey said from 10 years ago, that was a complete abomination. It wasn't funny and didn't even spark a feeling of nostalgia from the show. Disappointing.

The other half of my mid-teenage crisis that isn't the fear of all my beloved franchises ending surreptitiously, is planning for my future. Junior year is on the brink of ending and senior year is looming ahead. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited to apply to college and ready for all the college ready antics, but I am afraid of not being the best I can be and becoming mediocre and complacent. I'm afraid of my essays sucking, my grades plummeting and not being unique or special in my applications.

I know this is an irrational fear since I already have looked and drafted ideas from the common app prompts, have a good overall average and can probably list a good amount of interests I have (regardless if they're lame, they still make me unique. I'm trying to remind myself I'll get through with it and what happens happens, but it still just gives me anxiety. I need to stop being afraid of confrontation and rejection because, in the wide words of BeyoncĂ©, "We all lose. We all lose at some point and we lose when we have to".

Well, I'm only 16. maybe by the time I turn 18 this will all turn over and I'll laugh at this irrational time in my life, who knows. For now, I'll try to cope and cling to whatever I can to get through this. To Netflix I go!

April Word List 2017

Making this list exactly 1 week before my SAT... Wish me luck!! One more home stretch before April is over.

apoplectic - overcome with anger
disseminating - spread or disperse (something, especially information) widely
ambivalence - the state of having mixed feelings or contradictory ideas about something or someone
corpulence - the state of being fat
redolent - strongly reminiscent or suggestive of
haranguing - lecture (someone) at length in an aggressive and critical manner
conciliatory - intended or likely to placate or pacify
arduous - difficult and tiring
robust - strong and healthy
solicitous - characterized by or showing interest or concern
cogent - clear, logical, and convincing
dogmatic - inclined to lay down principles as incontrovertibly true
imposition - the action or process of imposing something or of being imposed; forced
apprehensive - anxious or fearful that something bad or unpleasant will happen
unprecedented - never done or known before
substantiated - provide evidence to support or prove the truth of; validate
procession - a number of people or vehicles moving forward in an orderly fashion, especially as part of a ceremony or festival
candor - a large New World vulture with a bare head and mainly black plumage, living in mountainous country and spending much time soaring
inquiries - an act of asking for information
facilitate - make (an action or process) easy or easier
opine - hold and state as one's opinion; to declare
copious - abundant in supply or quantity
taciturn - reserved or uncommunicative in speech;
vexation - the state of being annoyed, frustrated, or worried
bolster - support or strengthen; prop up
babel - a confused noise, typically that made by a number of voices
receptive - willing to consider or accept new suggestions and ideas
vivacious - attractively lively and animated
acuteness - sharp or severe in effect; intense
inimical - tendencies to obstruct or harm
bilious - affected by or associated with nausea or vomiting
malobserved - incorrect observation or interpretation
scrupulously - diligent, thorough, and extremely attentive to details
impartial - treating all rivals or disputants equally
verdict - a decision on a disputed issue in a civil or criminal case or an inquest.
plaited - form (hair or other material) into a plait or plaits
cordiality - sincere affection and kindness
elicit - evoke or draw out (a response, answer, or fact) from someone in reaction to one's own actions or questions.
liaison - communication or cooperation that facilitates a close working relationship between people or organizations
odious - extremely unpleasant
expostulate - express strong disapproval or disagreement
sordid - involving ignoble actions and motives; dirty
ingeniousness - obsolete : noble, honorable
languid - displaying or having a disinclination for physical exertion or effort; slow and relaxed.
collusion - secret or illegal cooperation or conspiracy
entice - attract or tempt by offering pleasure or advantage
indignantly - in a manner indicating anger or annoyance at something perceived as unfair
contrition - the state of feeling remorseful and penitent.
wholly - entirely; fully
indignation - anger or annoyance provoked by what is perceived as unfair treatment
devoid - entirely lacking or free from
malice - the intention or desire to do evil
cardinality - the number of elements in a set or other grouping, as a property of that grouping.
cordon - a line or circle of police, soldiers, or guards preventing access to or from an area or building
rite - a religious or other solemn ceremony or act
ordained - make (someone) a priest or minister; to order or decree something
apparatus - the technical equipment or machinery needed for a particular activity or purpose
consolation - comfort received by a person after a loss or disappointment
galling - annoying; humiliating
surmised - suppose that something is true without having evidence to confirm it
acclimatized - to accommodate or accustom
condemn - express complete disapproval of, typically in public; censure
absolved - set or declare (someone) free from blame, guilt, or responsibility.
rouse - bring out of sleep; awaken.
foist - impose an unwelcome or unnecessary person or thing on
benign - gentle; kindly
execration - an angry denouncement or curse
gumption - shrewd or spirited initiative and resourcefulness
vindicate - show or prove to be right, reasonable, or justified
insolent - showing a rude and arrogant lack of respect.
succinct - briefly and clearly expressed.
immutable - unchanging over time or unable to be changed.
postulate - suggest or assume the existence, fact, or truth of (something) as a basis for reasoning, discussion, or belief.
romantic - of, characterized by, or suggestive of an idealized view of reality.
dissertation - a long essay on a particular subject, especially one written as a requirement for the Doctor of Philosophy degree
provincial - of or concerning a province of a country or empire
credence - belief in or acceptance of something as true; trust
expound - present and explain (a theory or idea) systematically and in detail
domicile - the country that a person treats as their permanent home, or lives in and has a substantial connection with.
dialect - a variety of a language peculiar to a particular region or group
surly - bad-tempered and unfriendly.
abysmal - extremely bad; appalling.
inference - a conclusion reached on the basis of evidence and reasoning
ambivalent - having mixed feelings or contradictory ideas about something or someone
arbitrary - based on random choice or personal whim, rather than any reason or system
quantitative - relating to, measuring, or measured by the quantity of something rather than its quality.
syntax - the arrangement of words and phrases to create well-formed sentences in a language
apropos - with reference to; concerning

No second post this month, been swamped with hella test prep... will catch up in May! smell ya later.

March Word List 2017

I've been so busy this month... and I thought January was rough, just another word list, please forgive me for these being a bit thin on these lately.

anarchy - a state of disorder due to absence or nonrecognition of authority
atonement - reparation for a wrong or injury.
conformity - compliance with standards, rules, or laws.
fidelity - faithfulness to a person, cause, or belief, demonstrated by continuing loyalty and support
gluttony - habitual greed or excess in eating
maturation - the action or process of maturing
mortality - the state of being subject to death
predestination - the divine foreordaining of all that will happen, especially with regard to the salvation of some and not others
sloth - reluctance to work or make an effort; laziness
hitherto - until now or until the point in time under discussion
unrequited - not returned or rewarded
fortitude - courage in pain or adversity
reticent - not revealing one's thoughts or feelings readily; reserved.
tenuous - very weak or slight
galvanize - shock or excite (someone), typically into taking action
suppress - forcibly put an end to
prolific - producing much fruit or foliage or many offspring
imperial - relating to an empire
affluent - having a great deal of money; wealthy
contingent - subject to chance
belittle - make (someone or something) seem unimportant
fabricate - to invent or concoct (something), typically with deceitful intent

Romeo and Juliet Playlist

Another creative writing prompt! For my Romeo and Juliet final Project in English, I decided to choose to make a mixed CD playlist for the play, for each song that fit the storyline and plot of the play. Each song explains a problem or event that happened, relating to the characters.
  1. Diary By Alicia Keys
Diary by Alicia Keys was written 10 years ago. It’s a slow R’N’B song, about how if someone you love has a secret they can't tell anyone else, they can depend on you to keep it, like a diary. This relates to Romeo and Juliet because when the two plan to get married and move away, they rely on Friar Lawrence to keep their secrets safe. they trust him to keep them safe and lock their secrets away, never to tell similar to a diary.

     2.) Fireproof by One Direction
Fireproof by One Direction was released last year, a slow tempo song about being invincible and in love with someone. The lyrics talk about “no one loving you the way I do” and “no one saves me the way you do”. It goes on to say that “we’re fireproof”. This applies to Romeo and Juliet because since the minute the two met, they were attracted to each other and 1were inseparable. They were believed to be destined to be together and that their love was ,fireproof’.

    3.) Happily by One Direction
Happily was a song by One Direction two years ago. It’s an upbeat pop song about two people being together happily. A lyric goes “I don't care what people say when we’re together”, which reminded me of the story. No matter what Romeo and Juliet heard or knew about each other and their family, they wanted to be together, because that’s what made them happy.

   4.) Heaven by Beyonce
Heaven by Beyonce is a slow piano song with deep ballads and message. In the song she sings about a loved one dying and going to heaven, too soon. “Heaven couldn't wait for you, so go on, go home.”. This reminds me of Romeo and Juliet because both love eachother very much but both died very young and were taken away from each other.

5.) If I Ain't Got You by Alicia Keys
If I Ain't Got You by Alicia Keys is another R’N’B song about how two people need each other. How those two people feel incomplete when they are not around each other. This relates to Romeo and Juliet because ever since the moment they meet, they want to be together regardless. They felt ‘incomplete’ without each other. This is obvious when Juliet asks Romeo to marry her, because she wants to be with him.

6.) Love by Keyshia Cole
Love by Keyshia Cole is a jazz song about love, obviously. In her song she sings “ I didn't know what I was missing, until we started kissing”. This reminds me of the Romeo and Juliet movie when they're in the elevator, kissing, but then get separated. They find love in their kiss something they both didn't have before.

7.) Love Story by Taylor Swift
Love Story by Taylor Swift was a popular song when it came out, and a very obvious choice for this assignment. Obviously, the song is about the Romeo and Juliet story and she described it perfectly. In the song, it tells about the family feud and the reason they can't be together. Both the song and storyline stress the separation of the two lovers. Even though Taylor's song had a different ending, the message is still there.

8.) Somewhere Only We Know by Keane
Somewhere Only We Know is an indie song by the band Keane. In the song it talks about when two people are separated and need to escape with each other, they can go to a place only they know. This reminds me of when Romeo and Juliet plan to leave their hometown and escape to a new village. They plan to escape and go somewhere only they will know about, somewhere where they're families can't find them.

9.) My Boo by Alicia Keys ft. Usher
My Boo is a duet between Alicia Keys and Usher. A lyric in the song goes “It started when we were younger you were mine, my boo”. This correlates to Romeo and Juliet because they were together when they were young. They belonged together, each others ‘boo’.

10.) FourFiveSeconds by Rihanna, Kanye West and Paul Mccartney
FourFiveSeconds is a song by Rihanna, Kanye West and Paul Mccartney, aa song that perfectly describes the fight scene between Romeo and Mercutio. In the song, the chorus goes  “...Cause all of my kindness is taken for weakness. Now I’m FourFiveSeconds from wildin’...”, which relates to when Romeo at first doesn't want to fight Mercutio, he’s trying to be kind, but Mercutio just thinks Romeo is scared and chicken so he pushes him further. This causes Romeo to eventually kill Mercutio, which relates to the second part of the lyrics.

February Word List 2017

Another month, another list! The long list of words probably has to do with the amount of SAT prep I've been doing lately. It's good for the long run but definitely more work for me now.

vagariesan unexpected and inexplicable change in a situation or in someone's behavior. 
dogmatic - inclined to lay down principles as incontrovertibly true
crux - the decisive or most important point at issue; core, essence.
insignia - a badge or distinguishing mark of military rank, office, or membership of an organization; an official emblem
Jellicle - a type of feline mentioned in T. S. Eliot's book Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats
cretaceous - relating to or denoting the last period of the Mesozoic era, between the Jurassic and Tertiary periods.
vacillate - alternate or waver between different opinions or actions; be indecisive.
crypt - an underground room or vault beneath a church, used as a chapel or burial place
novice - a person new to or inexperienced in a field or situation
penitent - feeling or showing sorrow and regret for having done wrong
avaricious -  having or showing an extreme greed for wealth or material gain
scrupulous - diligent, thorough, and extremely attentive to details
magnanimous - very generous or forgiving, especially toward a rival or someone less powerful than oneself
amiable - having or displaying a friendly and pleasant manner
dissertation - a long essay on a particular subject
detractors - a person who disparages someone or something
engenders - to cause or give rise to
credence - belief in or acceptance of something as true
expound  - present and explain (a theory or idea) systematically and in detail.
delineated - describe or portray (something) precisely
prose - written or spoken language in its ordinary form
logistics - the detailed coordination of a complex operation involving many people, facilities, or supplies.
divisive - tending to cause disagreement or hostility between people
warily - cautiously; carefully
seldom - not often; rarely
miserly - relating to or characteristic of a miser; mean.
reticent - not revealing one's thoughts or feelings readily
munificent - larger or more generous than is usual or necessary
garrulous - excessively talkative, especially on trivial matters
effusive - expressing feelings of gratitude, pleasure, or approval in an unrestrained or heartfelt manner
vociferous - vehement or clamorous
inquisitive - curious or inquiring
poignant - evoking a keen sense of sadness or regret
holistic - characterized by comprehension of the parts of something as intimately interconnected and explicable only by reference to the whole
dutiful - conscientiously or obediently fulfilling one's duty
elusive - difficult to find, catch, or achieve
pheromones - a chemical substance produced and released into the environment by an animal
mitigate - make less severe, serious, or painful
squalid - extremely dirty and unpleasant, especially as a result of poverty or neglect
eloquent - fluent or persuasive in speaking or writing
superfluous - unnecessary, especially through being more than enough
impervious - unable to be affected by
infallible - incapable of making mistakes or being wrong
vacillation - the inability to decide between different opinions or actions
bolstered - to support or strengthen
stymied - prevent or hinder the progress of
disgruntled - angry or dissatisfied
spurious - not being what it purports to be; false or fake
idyllic - extremely happy, peaceful, or picturesque
gauche - lacking ease or grace; unsophisticated and socially awkward
refute - to prove (a statement or theory) to be wrong or false
imminent - about to happen
felicitous - well chosen or suited to the circumstances
fusing - join or blend to form a single entity
sodomy - sexual intercourse involving anal or oral copulation
equivocation - the use of ambiguous language to conceal the truth or to avoid committing oneself
parsimony - extreme unwillingness to spend money or use resources
mendicancy - the condition of being a beggar
appertaining - relate to

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